After loss – getting back into the world of babies and pregnancy.

Initially, after we came out of hospital we of course knew we wanted to try for another baby soon, but it would be 6 months away, and we were grieving. So baby/kid stores were avoided, facebook was soon avoided due to friends having successful deliveries. All my favourite movies where stories of pregnancies and 3 months on I am still avoiding. Certainly labour stories I avoid like the plague now.

3 Months on, how have things developed?

Well I have met a dear friend’s baby girl. Hearing of her successful  birth ( no details, just that she had had her little girl) was a very difficult time for us, so it was quite a big step to meet this special little girl. Thankfully its been a wonderful experience and I am soaking up all the hugs I can. This certainly took out the sting for me, so other little babies were not so scary, and I slowly started to creep back into baby stores.

I had a voucher for baby bunting, a voucher I had been looking at in despair since arriving home. So I finally made the decision to go and find a gift I could buy for our next baby. I spend 1 hour in the store, seeing pregnant women, newborns and looking at all items in the store. Another hurdle done!!

Chloe is very much respected, honoured and I have made some art for her and our little family. I have picked up a few necklaces to keep her with me always and we have had little 'Chloe rings' made up for my husband and I. 

I don't think i'll be able to watch or hear about labour stories as I used to, but I'm grateful to be able to think about our next baby, nicknamed LB with fondness and excitement. 

K

When to TTC? / The planning begins

Here are some of the things I am looking at, to plan another little baby.

Bloods – checking that all my vitals are healthy particularly since being so ill in hospital.

Bloods – checking that all my prenatal  vitals are good – these include resilience to viruses such as measles and tetanus etc. I already had injections for these for my previous pregnancy but we still want to check that I am protected. There is a whole list of items to check on and get up to date.

Simply ask your doctor and have a chat about planning for a pregnancy. Its smart to think about genetic conditions within your family.

Fitness -  making sure my body is fit and strong to carry a little one. It takes a lot of energy to be pregnant, it can be really exhausting. With back problems it had previously been a concern for me, however I made a real point of getting fit, jogging and doing clinical pilates specifically to get me strong and keep me strong for my pregnancy.  I believe it was all this and my positive attitude that helped, and in the end I was able to move around with great ease during labour to which the mid wives were actually quite impressed.

Folic acid – I have been on Elivate for many, many, many months. Part of the reason I am on it since hospital is because of it being essentially a multivitamin, but as a woman who is planning for pregnancy it is important to start this.

And my opinion on is it ok to have a little caffeine or/and a little alcohol? There is only a small amount known about the affects of alcohol on a foetus. What is obvious is that excessive alcohol consumption during pregnancy is going to have a negative affect on a foetus/baby. Less is definitely best!

What I did whilst pregnant with Chloe was basically abstain completely. I did try the occasional wine as we had several weddings during the period but I couldn’t stand the taste (thankfully). All in all I basically didn’t drink. When I needed a stress relief I used other methods of relaxation. Walk, talk, making nursery art, massage, hot shower. And because caffeine really doesn’t affect me a great deal I thought there was no point in drinking it.

So why the bloods, injections, vitamins and fitness regime? Well because I believe that it is my responsibility to give my baby the very best start in life.

So we shall see how the results go, fingers crossed!

When to start trying? For a c-section its important to wait for at least 6 months as this is when the wound has well and truly healed. I think it is also smart to wait till after the 3 month mark as when you have had a loss, its apparently more difficult if your babies share the same month as a birthday & anniversary. Many women naturally want to rush into another pregnancy, however I do want to get started when I'm in good health, good fitness and have a healthy mental state. I certainty don't want to make the pregnancy difficult (mentally or physically) and facing a delivery in the same month as Chloe's anniversary could be stressful.

K 

VBAC Vs C-SECTION

I've been thinking a lot about which option of delivery I would like for our next little blessing. After the trauma of almost dying during labour and our little angel passing, I know the next delivery will be all together different. (As will be the pregnancy) Knowing there is a possibility of delivering naturally confuses the situation somewhat. Either way I can make positive. 

But when I look at my pros and cos below, I realised my main 'push' for having a VBAC would be my pride. But having a healthy baby definitely eclipses my pride. 

VBAC

C-SECTION

Positives - Mentally and physically I know I am capable of having a natural labour. The only thing stopping me from having a natural birth for Chloe was the embolism, i dilated to 10cms and started pushing. I can be very determined when i want to be I would be so proud. Negatives – Fear of trauma again/ fear that the baby may be affected by something else.

Positives - Far more guarantee /confidence that the baby will be born safely.  I can organised everything with family and friends for the day/for the week. Support from day 1. We can have an amazing 'last' dinner  I could go and get my hair done manicure/pedicure etc and make an event of the last few days before.   I don’t remember the c-section being an issue. (I had greater problems to deal with) I don't worry about it being particularly difficult.  Negative – No driving for 6 weeks, a little delicate for a while.

K.

Breaking through the pain barrier

There have been many times now that i have had to bull doze through the pain barrier. like a wall that seems impossible to get passed.

I have had to break through it during labour, dealing with intense grief, dealing with the negative thoughts associated with friends and family pregnant and having successful deliveries. The list goes on. 

I really went through hell during and after delivery. I was lucky that i didnt die. Seems crazy to even write.

I am well out of the woods now. I am fit and healthy. So that pain barrier when i am jogging is quite insignificant. A- i have been through worse and B- i know for sure it wont kill me so push my way through it and I concur it.  

I can tell you the view once I do get there is always spectacular!

K

xox

Post Natal Fitness

I'm in my 3rd month post natal and my fitness plan is a little different to other 'new mothers', our little angel passed after 6 days due to a rare and potentially fatal condition I acquired during labour. I had an amniotic fluid embolism. 

I survived though, I'm very very glad to be here today, I have my health and I can have kids again. 

So my goal now that I am healthy again is to get back into the old jeans and I'm getting closer! To hear about my journey check out my youtube channel Week 1 : Post Natal Fitness.

Its been 4 weeks since changing my my eating habits and upping my fitness and I've noticed a lot of changes. Changes to my endurance and my waist!

On the food front:
Being smart/conscious about my meal size
Reducing sugar intake
Eating chicken rather than red meat
Eating more vegatables

On the fitness front:
I move every day. I might jog 1-2 km or walk with hand weights. I also do pilates to help tone and strengthen. Work at that core!!!